I worked in fast food and at greasy spoons from the age of 14 all the way through college, so I sometimes get a little picky when it comes to how my food is prepared. The thing I get most picky about is my Tex-Mex… I rarely order a fast food burrito (a fast food burrito is a burrito from Taco Bell or Taco Cabana… please understand that a burrito served on a plate and smothered in sauce and cheese is an entirely different animal) simply because no one employed at these places can seem to assemble a burrito correctly.
Fact: a burrito (by design) is not supposed to fall apart… if it didn’t matter if it fell apart, it’d just be a big damn taco, right?
Also, a fast food burrito is not to be folded in on both ends; doing so takes away from the total usable fold-able area of the tortilla and only results in more rapid burrito self-destruction.
In an effort to contribute to the overall worldly good, I now present an easy and dependable method of reducing the dreaded Burrito Fallout Syndrome:
|1. Position your tortilla.(12-inch tortillas are suggested. If you can find bigger, use them!)|
|2. Place your filling.(No suggestions from me… I made a SPAM burrito once, so anything is fair game.)|
|3. Fold the bottom flap up. Do not be stingy with the amount of tortilla devoted to the flap… it’s the only barrier between your filling and your lap!|
|4. Bring the side up and over your filling. Tucking the edge of the tortilla under your filling is an excellent extra step.|
|5. Create a small fold with the remaining side of the tortilla. This is the KEY to maintaining burrito integrity. Failure is a given if you do not follow this step!(The small, diagonal flap is an extra “lock” for the bottom flap of the tortilla… without it, the weight and viscosity of your filling has the power to force your bottom flap right out of itself.)|
|6. Bring the remaining tortilla flap over the filling. Eat with confidence.|
You’re probably thinking, “this is the dumbest thing I have ever seen on-line”. That may be, but I think this is slightly less dumb than dancing hamsters. In all honesty, I’m so adept at wrapping burritos that friends and co-workers would often have me work my magic for them when we ate at Taco Bell, right at the table… strange but true.
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